As the day in the lap of Western Ghats winded up, my head hit another turmoil. Well, it had been since long, but a part of me felt tangled up in the vicinity of nature yet away from it, in the serenity of winds yet far away from the calmness of soul. Usually, on vacations, I feel entirely unwinded, with my heart throbbing for the biggest adventures. Still, there was a part of me that was feeling lonely and distressed.

At our first stop near Panchgani, as I sat down near the small rocks “trying” to enjoy the panoramic view of Shayadris, my heart throbbed to its highest, and I felt as if the entire scenery was rotating in front of my eyes with me being secluded in the environs. I felt as if the rains started downpouring again, but it was the teardrops that fell on my hands because I did not feel good.

The entire day passed off, and I was in a switch-on and switch-off mood because I knew this had been “normal” for some time now.I felt something wrong/not good within but tried to make peace with it. Even in the presence of people around me, I felt alone. It is okay if nobody understands you because at the end of the day, it is you who have to understand yourself. And I think it is okay because it is a part of a big journey that we undertake. But with this, I also realised one more thing- My extreme love for the Himalayas.

I know nature is the same everywhere, but I don’t know if it provides the same peace anywhere else. Even in the worst of situations and mindsets, I have seen how the Himalayas and their ranges have provided me peace and assured me of calmness. For a few, the touristy attractions are a checklist; for others, explorations are a checklist, and many others find zen at any possible location is possible, but for me- I find the same peace with Himalayan mountains as I find with the presence of my mom.

This doesn’t mean I did not love the ranges of Western Ghats, but something was amiss- and it was not nature; it was my utmost love and admiration for the Himalayas. Those highest points standing in pride make you grounded in humbleness, the snow-clad peaks reverberate with calmness in the soul, and those chilly winds can stabilise the most stormy waves in your heart. I never felt I would say so while being at a whole different place together- “Dear Himalayas, you are my home, and you are my final destination. I might not have that privilege of being born there, but I sure wish to breathe my last there.”